I LOST MY FRIEND TODAY

Today I lost my best friend after he battled a short but aggressive illness. He was a friend I felt closer to than my own brother. Someone I thought about and prayed for almost every day. We knew each other for over 50 years, went through thick and thin together, got lost in the dark, were found in the light, tasted good and bad while living our dreams.

Even though we had been separated by two continents for the last 25 years, we never lost sight of each other.

Now he is gone, and so is a part of my life that now has to be filled with only memories. But they are good memories. Memories of overcoming, of redemption.

As we both believed that those who believe will not be parted forever, he will live on in my heart for now, until I see him again.

I'm sad and I miss my friend Thomas, but I hold on to the hope of seeing him again. A hope that brings joy in the midst of grief

WHY DOES GOD ALLOW CATASTROPHES?

Someone asked me the old question, what is God's reason for not preventing disasters like babies getting cancer, terrorist attacks, the Holocaust, earthquakes, tsunamis, etc.? 

I believe an answer to this question can only come from a deep understanding of the entire narrative of Scripture, including the nature of God, the significance of His love, and the concept of sin. 

The realization that has brought me some light into this horrible world in which I live is that I exist in a fallen and cursed place where sin has tainted every aspect of life. From our very human nature to the state of the planet itself, everything is damaged by corruption.

The question is, what's the point of living in a world where you're either going to be eaten away by disease or killed by someone or something? And my answer is to find God, to rekindle our perfect relationship with Him that we once had.  That's why Jesus is playing the role that He is playing in this world: a rescuer, Savior, redeemer - the most significant sign of God's love for us.

It comforts me that the ultimate hope and purpose of my life as a believer lies in what comes after this life. The Christian saying that "this is not our home" couldn't be more true if there is indeed a God.

When God permits individuals to pass away "before their time" (though that term can be presumptuous, as it implies we understand what our time should be), He grants them the gift of eternal life in His presence. He protects them from descending into a state of evil from which there may be no escape.

Isaiah 57:1-2 says: "The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death."

Trying to answer the question of why this world is so "evil" may not be satisfying or meaningful if you are not seeking God.

I believe that in the midst of the pain and suffering of this broken world, we can find hope and meaning in God's enduring love and promise of salvation.

Life's challenges can deepen our faith, draw us nearer to God, and prepare us for the eternal joy that will come when this life is over. When viewed from this perspective, even the most difficult times can serve as pathways to a deeper appreciation of God's grace and the eventual renewal of all creation.

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH

Today is election day, and once the polls close and the results are in, many will be disappointed. Some might see themselves as “losers” and become disheartened, or even feel defeated. 

        In moments like these, when external realities shift, it is important to hold on to a deeper truth.

The biblical phrase “The joy of the Lord is my strength” from Nehemiah 8:10 offers more than comfort. It calls us into a profound spiritual reality. This joy is not mere happiness or fleeting pleasure tied to circumstances, but a rooted, enduring sense of well-being that comes from God’s presence within us. It goes beyond the highs and lows of worldly success or failure, grounding us in something eternal and unshaken.

Such joy is rooted in a deep, trusting relationship with God, which provides emotional and spiritual resilience in difficult times.  It acts as a refuge, providing a sense of security and protection. This joy does not depend on circumstances, but on our faith in God's goodness and promises. It protects us from despair and empowers us to face uncertainty with courage and hope.

In embracing this divine joy, we choose to look beyond the short-lived victories and losses of this world. We claim a strength that redefines what it means to be victorious - rooted not in power or prestige but in faithful endurance, compassionate action, and the hope that sustains us through all seasons.

May we embrace the joy of the Lord as our foundation, shaping not only how we cope with disappointment but how we radiate steadfastness and grace to others in turbulent times.

LIFE IS SUFFERING

A few days ago, my beloved cat Wilbur passed away unexpectedly. For thirteen years, Wilbur had been my faithful companion, bringing me joy and reminding me every day of my wife who passed away last year. Losing him hit me hard, and I felt grief return like an old visitor. But is it really just a visitor? Or has it been living quietly with me all along? 

Not all suffering is the same, and maybe somewhere along the way, we stopped noticing the many little pains that come with life every day.

People have been searching for answers about suffering since the beginning of time. Why does pain and sadness seem to be such a normal part of life? For me, the answer comes from my faith. It tells me one thing very clearly: if life is suffering, then we need to learn how to live with that suffering.

IF LIFE IS SUFFERING, THEN WE MUST LEARN TO LIVE SUFFERING
God never promised us a life without suffering. Instead, He calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross (Matthew 16:24). That might not sound very inviting at first. But He also promises something amazing - He will never leave us (Matthew 28:20). His support, His wonders, His wisdom will be with us every step of the way.

To truly live, we have to be willing to accept suffering in all its forms and let it become part of us. Only by facing it head-on, by walking through it, can we understand it and find strength and wisdom through it. The goal is not to give up, but to find life even in the middle of suffering.

OUT OF OUR DEPTHS, GOD AWAKENS NEW HEIGHTS
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph says to his brothers, who once sold him into slavery: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

The Bible reminds us in Romans 8:28, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” Even the toughest challenges can turn into blessings for those who trust Him.

Job, despite great suffering, recognized that everything came from God: “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away” (Job 1:21). Though it was painful, Job trusted God was working out something good.

Time and again, the Bible shows that God is in control of all things—He can bring something good from even the worst situations if we trust Him.

Although biblical suffering is often presented within the context of faith, the Bible also explains why suffering is the condition of life in this world as a whole.

We often forget that in the story of creation, at one point God deeply regretted making humankind because of the evil and brokenness in this world:

Genesis 6:6 - “The Lord saw how great wickedness had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.”

WHY THE WORLD IS BROKEN
Our pain has its roots in the fallen, flawed nature of this world and its people. Sickness, death, natural disasters, broken relationships—they all come from being separated from God and the imperfection that entered creation. That’s why Jesus came—to restore what was broken, not just for this life, but for the life beyond.

Learning to live with suffering isn’t easy. But it’s the only way to find true fulfillment and understanding of ourselves. When we embrace the pain rather than run from it or hide it, we free ourselves from its hold. We open the door to live fully—with awareness, gratitude, and the deep peace of God that goes beyond anything we can comprehend.

The cycles of birth and death, coming and going, won’t last forever—because this world won’t last forever. And that truth gives us hope.

Right now, we might feel like tiny sparks in a massive fire. But through Jesus, we are forever connected to God’s love. His love is what gives us hope and joy every single day.

LIFE AFTER LOSS AND THE UNEXPECTED GIFTS OF GRIEF

It's been a year since my wife graduated to heaven, and for the past few weeks I've been trying to gather my thoughts to express how out of the rubble of what I thought was my shattered life, God is painstakingly assembling a new foundation of faith, hope, and an eternal perspective that I could have never imagined possible.

A quote came to mind that I've heard many times before.  It goes like this:

"I asked for strength, and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom, and God gave me problems to learn to solve.
I asked for courage, and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love, and God gave me people to help.
I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed."  
- Hazrat Inayat Khan

I vividly recall the fateful year of 2021 when our long-time landlord delivered the dreaded notice! After nearly two decades of calling that place home, we were being forced to vacate! We were shocked. Where would we go? How could we possibly find a suitable and affordable new home in such a short time?
Just when all hope seemed lost, God showed us our new home and when I say "God showed us" I really mean it. It is another God story all together.  It was the most beautiful and perfect home for us that we could have ever imagined.  We were both grateful and in my gratitude I prayed the same prayer over and over again: "Lord, let me grow in all aspects of my life, in this new home and in this new chapter of our journey, for Your glory."

For some reason I had certain expectations. I thought, God would push me out of my comfort zone a little, so I would become a stronger person.
Little did I know, that He had a far more profound and transformative journey in store for me. Instead of a gentle nudge, He sent me into the heart of a raging storm. A journey through pain, depression, and fear that threatened to consume me while at the same time offering me a peace that surpasses all understanding.  Being a follower of Christ can really seem like a paradox sometimes - but only if you have unbiblical expectations.

First, I got sick with an extremely painful herniated disc that kept me out of work for seven months. Then, when I was ready to start working again, my equipment broke down and I couldn't afford to buy new equipment (as an independent freelancer, that could be a death sentence).
A friend organized a fundraiser for us and it was slowly making progress, but two weeks into the fundraiser my wife died of a heart attack in the car.
Now the love of my life was gone.  Just like that. On top of that, I had no car, my wife's income was gone, funeral expenses loomed, and so on.  The weight of these challenges, coupled with the intense depression and anxiety that now consumed me, was unbearable.

God's thoughts and ways are far beyond our own limited human understanding (Isaiah 55:8-9). He enters the intimate spaces of our lives to shape and refine us. Through trials, challenges, and divine interventions, God works to transform us, strengthening our faith, restoring our brokenness, and revealing more of His glory.
And He does this without compromising His righteousness, His faithfulness, His love, and His goodness.

Just a few weeks ago, after almost a year without the love of my life, having faced the darkness of depression and the fears that threatened to consume me, I had to make the conscious decision to stop giving in to the darkness and instead, start living what I profess to believe - the unwavering truth of God's love and guidance that says: "Rejoice when the world tells you there is nothing to rejoice about."  It is a work in progress - but I'm determined!

Last year I thought I lost everything. But God taught me that this is not the case.  Instead of focusing on what has been taken away, God wants me to shift my perspective and recognize the immense blessings that remain, and new blessings that are being revealed as I walk with Him in this new chapter of my life.

My relationship with my wife has not ended. She is in Heaven, where she wanted to be, healed, waiting for me in the presence of God.
My relationship with God has intensified with a much deeper understanding of who He is.  He has given me a clearer vision of Heaven and my own purpose in this world.
And best of all, He blessed me with the joy that comes from a healthy longing to go home one day.

Don't get me wrong, grief will be a lifelong companion for me. However, I'm trying to view it not as a burden, but as a "welcome visitor" - a reminder of the love I shared with my wife, and the promise of being reunited with her again. I believe that healthy grief honors the one you have lost.

I recognize that I have a choice in how I approach my grief. I could allow it to consume me, making it a kind of false "god" that dominates my life. Or, I can embrace the truth and comfort offered by my Heavenly Father. He calls me to rejoice, promising a peace that transcends all understanding. This divine peace is able to fill me with a joyful anticipation, as I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with my wife in the eternal glory of Heaven.

When I look through the lens of my faith, I have the chance to see that even in the midst of the deepest tragedy, there is a wellspring of hope and joy waiting to be tapped. It is the steadfast love of God that has the power to transform our tears into triumph, and our mourning into dancing.

No matter how deep our sorrow may be, it is ultimately overshadowed by the boundless joy that awaits us in the life to come.