In the past few days I have been feeling increasingly sad and anxious due to various events in my life. I felt depressed, which always takes away my strength, both physically and mentally. So, on my way to the park where I walk every morning, I asked God why this is; why am I suddenly so sad and depressed? It takes away my joy; why can't I fight it? I asked Him to speak to me, to show me how to overcome it.
I know the theology: Christ is in me, He is the ultimate overcomer, and I can overcome through Him. ... But today it doesn't work. Why is that? For some reason, I don't know how to apply God's truth to my situation this time. "Please speak to me," I say, "how do I overcome this now? And God answered: "Through me". I thought, "What? That's it?" But what did I expect? I had to know that He would say that. Because that's the truth. I guess I was expecting some kind of special treatment, like an angel would appear and touch me and everything would be okay.
So I kept walking and thinking about how I could overcome this unpleasant unhappiness through Him. At some point, I pulled out my smartphone to read my daily devotional. This time it was about drunkenness. "Great," I thought, "this is going to be boring," because drunkenness does not apply to me. But I kept reading and halfway through the story changed and the text pointed me to Ephesians 5:18 where Paul says, "Be filled with the Spirit. I knew immediately that God was speaking to me. My prayers and pleading had brought me to a place where my heart, soul, and mind were ready to receive what God wanted me to have. "Be filled with the Holy Spirit"! Of course, that's it! As simple as that. No heavenly encounters or deep theological knowledge required. No - just knowing who I am in Christ and that His divine Spirit dwells within me. When I let His Spirit fill me, there is no room for fear or depression, there is only room for Him.
So I kept walking and thinking about how I could overcome this unpleasant unhappiness through Him. At some point, I pulled out my smartphone to read my daily devotional. This time it was about drunkenness. "Great," I thought, "this is going to be boring," because drunkenness does not apply to me. But I kept reading and halfway through the story changed and the text pointed me to Ephesians 5:18 where Paul says, "Be filled with the Spirit. I knew immediately that God was speaking to me. My prayers and pleading had brought me to a place where my heart, soul, and mind were ready to receive what God wanted me to have. "Be filled with the Holy Spirit"! Of course, that's it! As simple as that. No heavenly encounters or deep theological knowledge required. No - just knowing who I am in Christ and that His divine Spirit dwells within me. When I let His Spirit fill me, there is no room for fear or depression, there is only room for Him.
To be filled with the Spirit is to see Christ vividly and joyfully. It means standing on top of my tragic existence. It brings a joy that makes it possible to cast out unhappiness, stress, fear and all the other unpleasantness of this world.
Why did I suppress the Spirit today? I think in my human existence I am simply prone to constantly inhaling the poisonous fumes of this world while at the same time expecting the Spirit of God to let me walk on top of the world. But there is only room for one, and it is my choice to choose one or the other. I have failed and I have succeeded today. Praise God!
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